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Writer's pictureJahanara Monaf

Co-dependency



I have spoken about co-dependency in the past, but it seems to have risen again where there are certain partners where they are reliant on the other partner for their happiness. We are all responsible for our own happiness, so it is unfair to stick it on someone else’s head. This is where relationship will end up in a disaster. Generally, it is a woman who always comes in complaining. This is where I will say, come back with your partner as I want to hear his side of things too.


Co-dependency is defined as excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one who requires support on account of an illness or addiction. In our society, co-dependency is more common than we may even realise.


Though the world is more focused on certain aspects of wellness now more so than ever, our lifestyles have stripped us of the connection we need most importantly, which is the one with ourselves. Co-dependency is chronic self neglect because you are looking outwards for each emotion you are failing to supply for yourself. It can take years to realise this, well into adulthood. We look outside for validation, acceptance, self worth, praise, etc. All this and we neglect to love ourselves and really be our own best friend. When we give anyone else the power to validate us, our happiness will always depend on another person. That's not the key to a happy life, in fact, that is the key to a really unhappy one. You will chase endlessly and be faced with the same lessons over and over again until you realise it.


TICM puts healing in your own hands. Healing is much more than physical symptoms, it is one with mental awareness and consciousness. Self love is finding harmony, learning from the past and not worrying about tomorrow. Trusting yourself. Thinking of all that you have been through and made it through. You are more than equipped to handle what happens. Focus on what you can control.


Do something nice for yourself today. Give yourself the love you seek, and it will come back more beautifully than you could ever imagine. When you are love, you receive pure love. Do not be afraid so let go and remove power that you give outside of yourself. Call that power back in. Breathe deeply. It feels good to hold your power back.

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